Does Your Past Define You?

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I have spent a lot of my life over-thinking my choices, why did I do that, where am I going now. Something, that took me a long time to accept was, that was my choice and now I have to live with it. 

I had a rough few years (I'm sure most of you have at some point) and coming out of those years I was so full of self-hatred, self-doubt, and depression. Then I made the best choice I had ever made in my life, moving in with one of my best friends. I was worried that this would result in the end of our friendship, but all it did was make it stronger, and make me better. 

Throughout the years I have gone through countless different life events, none of which I am going to bore you with you because when I think about my life it has been pretty ordinary, and I am totally okay with that. 

All of those choices that I regretted when I was a teenager/early twenties, I made them. I can't change that now; when I think back to that time now all I can think is 'what an earth were you thinking?' but I don't hate myself for them now like I did. I hurt a lot of people in a short space of time including myself, but I have healed from that through the love of someone amazing, friends who have stood by me despite all of my awful decisions, members of my family who very quickly became some of the most important people in my life. 

I know that you can get all these self-help books but honestly, I find them preachy and irritating. That isn't what I needed when I was struggling, I didn't need a book (or someone) to tell me what I could to make it better. I had to figure it out for myself. Now this may just be because I am stubborn and fiercely independent that I couldn't imagine taking instruction from someone else, but I also took the view (and still do) I got myself into this mess, I need to get myself out of it. 

My past does define me, and that's okay. I have learnt from my mistakes, be they love, or money, or family. I am looking a bright and better future than I could have imagined for most of my life all because of that one choice I made two years ago. 

Turn those negative experiences into a positive future. 

Keep struggling - it will be worth it in the end. 

Kay x 

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