A Writers Pain

I have spent a lot of my life over-thinking my choices, why did I do that, where am I going now. Something, that took me a long time to accept was, that was my choice and now I have to live with it.  I had a rough few years (I'm sure most of you have at some point) and coming out of those years I was so full of self-hatred, self-doubt, and depression. Then I made the best choice I had ever made in my life, moving in with one of my best friends. I was worried that this would result in the end of our friendship, but all it did was make it stronger, and make me better.  Throughout the years I have gone through countless different life events, none of which I am going to bore you with you because when I think about my life it has been pretty ordinary, and I am totally okay with that.  All of those choices that I regretted when I was a teenager/early twenties, I made them. I can't change that now; when I think back to that time now all I can think is 'what an earth were you th...

This post is going to take a break from the struggles of being a writer to just a general life struggle. One that I think a lot of people have some kind of version of, but maybe are like me and have lived in silence. Well no longer!  I wanted to share my story with you, so maybe some understanding for other people in my type of situation can maybe be had. There is so much misunderstanding and hatred in the world, it saddens me to look at the news sometimes. I can't bare to see that someone else has taken their own life, or had their life taken due to the ignorance of another person. Instead I decide to keep myself to myself and stay silent because I think that people don't care about what I have to say, or what I think. Now though, I don't have to worry because I am a writer and whether people care or not, I am going to write.  There have been a few hiccups in my life. Some that I have got over. Some that are an ongoing struggle, but something that I have to keep telling my...

Actually I'm not scared of the dark at all... at least not anymore.  Struggle 4: Fear  The definition of fear:  an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. I would describe fear as something you have to overcome to become a better version of yourself.  I am afraid of a lot of things, but I have also overcome a lot of my fears.  My fear of losing my independence, my fear of commitment, and my fear of loneliness - all of which I have overcome.  Now my biggest fear, people reading my writing. I have always been nervous about this, I have never been one to share my heart with anyone; that's exactly what writing is. I am baring my soul to anyone who will listen, well read in this case. And that is a scary thing to do for most people. I have decided that I have to try and get over this fear. It is stopping me from sharing one of my true passions with other people, now don't get me wrong, my true passion might be total rubbish and everyone...

In light of everything that is currently happening in the world I wanted to share some positivity instead of focusing just on the struggles of being a writer.    In one of my previous posts I asked what being a writer meant to you and gave some reasons what it meant to me.  Now I want to add to that.  I have just finished going through my second run through of my book, I have edited it personally and now added in some bits/taken away others and how I feel right now is why I write.  A sense of achievement.  I am so proud of myself for having got this far. For being able to say I wrote a book, I know it still has a long way to go yet, I still need a cover, I need to decide which blurb I am going to use (I have about six options at the moment), and I still need it to go through a proper editor. Despite all of this I am still proud that I have managed to write a 30,000 word novella (novel... depends who you ask) it will probably be more when I am finished with ...

Well, actually in this case we do.  Struggle 3: Not Seeing the Light At the End of Tunnel  I think that my biggest struggle at this very moment is not being able to see the end to all this. I have two books currently on the go, completely different genres, completely different audiences, and I am in love with both of them. The problem is I don't see an end.  First, I need to finish the story. I have it all written out in my head... but that's not very helpful...  Secondly, I need to do a run through edit of it. I have been an editor I know how exhausting and strenuous this can be.  Thirdly, there is everything that comes after the editing. Especially the marketing, this is one of the things I am most nervous about. I am not a marketer, or a social media whiz, or anything even close. I haven't posted anything on my own Instagram since December 2019... Even though I am in the right age bracket to know how it all works, I am not effective.  I can tell you thou...

 I think that there has been a time in every writers life where they have come across this struggle - Writers block...  Struggle 2: Writer's Block  In my experience when I have faced writers block there are only a few outcomes:  I write and I hate it and end up re-writing  I sit and stare at a piece of paper until I get frustrated and throw my pen across the room  I write nonsense that makes no sense and I never re-visit it again  I don't think I have any other outcomes of writers block.  For a long time, I only wrote out of a need so actually, writers block didn't really exist. If I didn't feel like writing then it normally meant that I was in a happy mood and I didn't need to.  Then when I was promoting my editing work I started publishing some poems through the company and I felt as if I had to write - that was truly when my writers block hit. I couldn't come up with anything remotely good (at least I didn't think so anyway) because all I ...